God’s favorite idiot - mock audition
I wrote today, the 11th of December, a few days after the course ended, to reflect on and consider not only what it meant to do the course but also what I’ve achieved.
The confidence both in acting and speaking
It’s funny; you don't wanna be under-confident but you don’t wanna be over either. And I think I was slightly over-confident in one of the ‘takes’ and smiled, now what I was smiling at was the director laughing at my actions, which I’ll be frank, I like amusing people, except I was meant to be acting not being a comedian!
That’s just my perspective, you can be the judge of that take.
The nerves
I didn’t get nervous, I was actually thinking of trying an Irish accent on, I didn’t. The reason I was practising in an Irish accent was A) I feel that I remember my lines better and B) it seems to speed up my processing speed of what's going on, this may be due to adding one more layer of complexity that in turn would when I was speaking ‘normally it would give me a little bit more time to ‘read and react’ to the situations that arose.
KISS
Another thing as my Aunt would say - Keep it simple stupid. Now in the theatre you've gotta really be ‘full and expressionful’ (don’t think that’s a word) whereas in TV/movies, it’s all the ‘direction and angles’ so you need much less, hence why I wanted to add that comment in. That’s how I feel anyway, people might have other opinions.
Mark’s words
My teacher for the 8 weeks, said at the start, middle and end, ‘You’ve got to find the truth’, it took me the whole of the 8 weeks to understand what he meant.
My description of it is, the ability to have a persona in a role yet fit into how you want to portray it in you… It probably didn’t help you at all, but then again you have to do the course yourself and let yourself discover your truth.
The good mock take ~ let me know what you think.
Thank you to Brave Studio
I will certainly be doing the scene studies course, however, I’ll more than likely be doing it in the second half of the year as we are Takin on Tassie in 2025, smack bang in the middle of everything, I’m also interested in a vocal course or the US accent course, so I’ll be back there next year!
On this, I've felt all these acting courses have aided me to be a better speaker, I think It’s just the more confidence.
You know what they say, ‘CONFIDENCE IS KEY’ and I agree.
Till next time.
TQ
The critique and the belief
The classes
Some of you might see me as a person with self-belief and in some areas, certainly yes. In other areas, acting, it’s growing
From the classes I’ve been doing at Brave Studio, I feel that slowly I’ve been building my confidence. It’s been a shift from blaming on the disability (processing speed) to nerves, now it’s remembering my lines, jeez, it frustrates me to no end but I feel more confident, and as long as you’ve got the context of the piece/script you can sometimes fill in the gaps.
The scales are shifting, you’ve just got to commit the time.
Imposter syndrome
‘the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills’
Mate! Let me tell you, I’ve felt like this…
Like the time I graduated with a diploma of fitness, that time I graduated with my bachelor's degree, the list goes on!
If only humans had two options back yourself in or out, we are so much more than that though.
In regards to my acting career, it's more in terms of ‘sometimes’ “was that actually good or….”, we are our toughest critics after all.
With my Mock tape, (see below) I always seem to critique myself. However Mark, James, and Daniela all said, that when rewatching your takes, come into it with an open mind.
One of the teachers said right back at the start when I started ‘You might get 10 takes that are the same in terms of script, but the way they are conveyed, they will be different!’, and now seeing that with my own eyes, I believe it. ‘See it to believe it’, as they say!
You aren't going to get an Oscar winner take, the first time!
Representation
Disabling discourses: contemporary cinematic representations of acquired physical disability 2020
This paper explored how acquired physical disability is constructed within three contemporary mainstream fiction films.
They found:
Films can communicate accurate knowledge as well as damaging stereotypes to the public. Disability has often been portrayed negatively in films and thus it is important to critically analyse films about disability.
The paper discusses three contemporary films in which the main actors have an acquired physical disability. What is said about disability through the films’ dialogue, and how disability is shown through camera angles, music, and props was analysed.
The research found that films about acquired physical disability continue to produce negative stereotypes about disability. Thus, discrimination against disabled people is continued.
Encouragingly, some stereotypes about disability were seen to be challenged in the contemporary films.
Future films need to be more inclusive of disability. Characters need to be complex, all-rounded individuals, with disability being only one facet of their personhood.
I think these are powerful points of interest.
Highlighting this is only one facet of a person.
The ordinary abled human just needs to have an ordinary conversation with an ordinary differently-abled human and find out life, that’s my sole belief.
The same can be said for the advertising industry, a study said, “Market-mediated representations of disability often evoke feelings of pity or portray people with disabilities as inspiring, solely or in part on the basis of their disability.” Click here to read the full study.
The film industry needs to look beyond (or before) the disability.
Now having said that there are ‘some’ cool movies that I think break the stigma and I’m sure there are plenty more that I’m unaware of, The Peanut Butter Falcon is the one that comes to my mind.
Also, the shift20initiative movement is another great avenue.
I think we need to be seen, heard, and represented more in everyday life as the study suggests.
My beliefs
My metacognitive position is, that the representation (environment) needs to be changed in the acting world, also the disability in general
Also, internally, I've got to ‘put in the work’ - I'm lazy when it comes to the academic writing side, I’ll admit it.
However, I like to think that I am open to hearing other points of view in regard to representation.
As a study has implied biased beliefs or assumptions can be changed if you identify how the person is thinking.
MOCKING BRAVE
Well, what a exciting eight weeks it has been in the Brave studios!
Over that period, I’ve learned what I feel is a lot, everyone has a different perspective though.
Probably the key takeaways were:
Self-belief, which i want to delve and do a bit of self research on.
Inner monologue, which is way more complex than you think.
Not getting so frustrated with the lines and remembering them, calmer would be the word.
This is the mock second take, you can be the judge.
As they say not one single performance is the same, and I totally agree!
With me, to be honest i felt this was a much harder scene (Neighbours) than the previous (Rosehaven) not entirely more complex just as you would have seen in the scene more one sided and flipping or as you’d say in acting a beat change. I’m about 80% happy with the performance, got few things that i can improve on! But still happy. Side note, when i exited the room I gave Barry a run-through and I reckon I F@!# nailed that one!
The head framing was a new way of taking a shot for me. My role in the scene was more of a talking side so my listening was limited. Hence my actions were with lines.
I would like to flip that scene and see how hard it is to listen and empathise while being taped.
To the peeps who were in the group with me, you’se bunch made it so enjoyable, not just because it was fun but the insights you brought and your point of views. Thank you!
And to Daniela and James thanks for being great sounding boards, different teachers or for a better word mentors. Thank you!
BRING ON FOUNDATION TECHNIQUE!
Brave 2.0
Well I’m more than halfway through my Brave 2.0 acting course term. I’ve got to say it is living up to the drama and fun!
I’m learning the inner monologue and the interaction it brings with acting. Tbh sometimes I feel like all this ‘stuff’ in acting out a scene is over the top. Sooo much ‘stuff’ going on! I feel like you can see the cogs turning in my mind when I’m doing the scene.
However my colleagues would and have said otherwise, especially Jas and Ali, so I do appreciate this, a confidence boost!
Which brings me to question is it just self belief and not the slow processing?
I actually have gotten over pretty much the nervous factor so what else can I BLAME this on 😉
If I had the ability to observe myself on this self belief I would but I don’t think that’s possible…
So, I’ll have to do a bit of research on myself and articles on this self belief and draw my own conclusions.
I have been listening to Brene brown Audio book the power of vulnerability, it got recommended and I think there are pieces in that that are handy tools!
Short and sweet that’s the way I like it.
If you want an actor or a speaker living with a disability get in touch via email on Tommyquick.com.au
Limited answers - relationships
My Thoughts
Since suffering my stroke, I pretty much feel like I’ve been stuffing up relationships. This feeling comes from not reading the cues or signals then staying up a fair bit of the night, wondering if I said or did the right thing. I know these are very negative thoughts, I'm just being honest about my feelings
The Ride
While we were moving from place to place during the 4 points ride, I had little opportunity to interact socially. If there was any interaction it was via dating apps. I’d start a conversation and it would just fade cause generally we’d be moving on the next day. In saying that, there's probably a handful of times when we still keep in contact via Instagram which is cool!
A Hypothetical One
I recently watched The One on Netflix and the synopsis is: there is a perfect system that matches your lifelong partner to you via a DNA program, and you live happily ever after. But the kicker is it's intertwined with a murder and a cover-up. It certainly intrigued me!
Right at the end of the first episode one of the characters gets hit by a car when she walks across the street to meet her future match (they’ve video-chatted) for the first time.
In Ep. 2 her partner is processing with her friend what has happened to her future partner. She says ‘What if she's brain damaged, what if I have to look after her?’ Her friend asks ‘what about her parents?” She replies ‘both are dead’. Later she also says ‘I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling’. It ends up with her staying with her future partner and the potential ongoing effects of the crash. She turns out fine.
It made me think on this and really question because, the other day a mate of mine, who lives with an acquired brain injury (ABI), said “Able women don't go out with us”. Now that is a blunt as fuck comment and it caught me by surprise.
I’m living with a disability more than ever (due to the car crash) and some of the thoughts that go through my head are:
Why have I struggled to form a solid connection in a relationship?
Is it because of the disability?
Are the assumptions that I'm incapable?
Is it because of the assumed dependence on living at home?
Is it sympathy, not empathy, that the other person is feeling, pity?
Is it harder to get a rewarding job living with a disability and from there, being financially stable?
The mobility, the slowness?
The fact I don't drive?
The physical intimacy?
There are limits to finding answers here. Should I be able to find resolutions in the inner depths of my mind? The best chance here for me to get any answers is to listen and understand where the other person is coming from.
My curiosity has got the better of me. Please do enlighten me on this hypothetical question (I love 'em’)
If the Netflix show, The One, was a real concept and you could really just put some hair in a test tube, and match it with your life partner. Would you get the test done?
Another question, what happens if you match with a person living with a disability, do any of your immediate thoughts fall across any of the questions above?
Or maybe your thoughts are completely different to any of the above, please let me know what you're thinking?
You do need to see the TV show to gauge the whole storyline but watch the trailer to get a sense.
Interesting Find
This is a super interesting YouTube Ted Talk, It is probably the longest-running study of all time, Here are the three main themes they learned from this 75-year Harvard study:
Good social connection leads to better life outcomes. Loneliness can be toxic and lead to worse health outcomes.
That it’s the quality of social connection and relationships that lead to better health outcomes.
That healthy, loving relationships give the other partner's memory a protective coating. Good relationships protect your brain as well, less memory decline
‘The good life is built on good relationships’
My Key Takeaway
The key takeaway for me from this TED talk is that having good friendships and/or partnerships is so important for all of us both physically and emotionally. None of us thrive on loneliness. and I will make the assumption that I'm not the only person reading this who feels this way.
Anyway, that’s my thoughts done for today.