The expectation

Week five in the brave studio.

It was an interesting week in terms of my filming world, with learning my lines and then when it came to the ‘crunch time’ in fine form, fucking it up!

I reckon every line I had to say to someone ‘line’ as in to tell me what my lines were, every time…

It was painful. But a real awakening to reality.

Interesting the thought process to find that real awakening was:

Is your processing speed still as slow as you were back in the first few years of your stroke? 

From thinking about it to comprehending it to spitting it out. It felt like time had slowed down to half speed.

The reason why I say this is when I was concentrating I was concentrating solely on the script lines nothing else mattered and when I said one line and then the partner (who was awesome) said the other line, I would still be registering and searching for my next line…

The teacher (also awesome) and I discussed it later and it worked out it was mainly the nerves, not my processing speed, well it might be a bit but not as much as I read into. 

I’ve watched the playback, there were some wickedly good acts and all I'm going to say about mine is it can be improved, it wasn't as bad as I originally thought.

One thing I will say about my lines, and I feel this goes across the board with speaking, I never want to get too reliant on them, they limit my confidence.

Book baby!!!!

Turning a collection of stories into a book.

There's me telling the story of my life but who is doing the actual hard labor, putting pen to paper?

Now I'm going to give him some shit right now because one of his catchphrases is ‘Don't you know who I am?!’ (a bit cocky, ya think) and this is a perfect opportunity to say ‘nope sorry, who are you?’. His name is Heath Ryan, 1: he's Canadian, 2: he's written a bloody job lot of books, 3: he loves cycling, 4:  he only picked cycling up about 8 years ago (or so he says) 5: he has been in Australia for 25+ years and hasn't lost the accent and 6: he's done the triple crown, which not a hell of a lot of people have done. What is that you ask? I'll let his site The Dark Knight explain it.

I'm telling you a lot about him but how did we meet?

So, one of my friends, who lives in the local area and I met down at lord Somers community camp a few years ago, started talking about me doing the 4 Points Ride in 2021 and he said “I know a bloke who is an ultra rider who goes by the name The Dark Knight.”  I thought it was an odd name to go by but never judge a book by its cover, great pun to use in this blog! 

Eventually, we managed to catch up and yer my first impression was a lovely bloke who talks underwater!

We got to ride together from Seymour to Euroa, before he went away to ride in Europe, and then again from Hopetoun to Ararat, it was a lot of fun. It was both the stories as well as the riding!

What's going to be encompassed in the book?

Well, it'll be about me, it'll be about the 4 Points Ride, it'll be about the crash and what I had to go through, and there’s a lot about my feelings from personal challenges to achievements.

Will there be an audio version?

That's my plan, how we shape it and how it works is still yet to be discovered, we are just mulling the ideas over at this stage.

Funny story about the diary.

I was handing it over to Heath so he could photocopy it and get a printout he could use as both a guide and the timeline of how we rode the 4 points of Australia. 

We were sitting up the back at Little Byrd and we both agreed we should read a piece from the diary as I’d never really ever read it because it had mainly been written by Mum. Heath opens up the diary and starts to read, ‘The date is the 17th of November….’ I knew straight away it was the crash date, I gave a little chuckle thinking fucking hell of all the dates why did it have to be that one…!

Heath didn't realise the extraordinary importance of THAT date and when he did, it silenced him - no mean feat!!!!  

The 3 points of Tassie.

This'll be interesting, I mean Heath can talk underwater so…. 

It’ll actually be a lot of fun and I can’t wait for it to happen! We have sat down and mapped the route (he loves doing the mapping, so I just let him finish it) though collaborative is best, in all senses!

The dates we are thinking about are mid-March till the start of May - May is the Month for Pediatric/Childhood Stroke.

We will also have Glenn, another stroke survivor, joining us to pedal the entire 3 Points of Tasmania.

Sometimes when talking with Heath I get on a rant roll, they can be ruthless. 

In reality, these aren't all rants but can just be stories with feelings. I can assure you these aren't aimed at Heath, he just has to listen, luckily he’s a curious fellow. 

The last one he had to cop started with my early school days and evolved to CTP (Compulsory Third  Party, S.A.) and the LSS (Lifetime Support Scheme S.A.), NDIS, and Services Australia. I think we got onto that topic because later that day I had a phone consult to discuss my ongoing support from Centrelink. Over the years some of these conversations had been pretty Shit, to put it bluntly. I think this vent was heard by a higher power as I can tell you now that this one was actually a very positive experience!

Anyway, I think that's enough for now.  These blogs are getting longer and longer so I want to downsize a bit.

Early days in the planning. If you have any useful information feel free to chuck them in the comment section.

Thank you!

For now,

TQ signing off.

The art of hugging - acting

Just a quick one.

A few weeks ago I started an acting class, which has been super duper fun. I have been doing it at BRAVE STUDIOS, in Footscray. 

It’s kinda funny because late last year when I was doing the great Vic bike ride, bicycle network. On the last day, a person who I didn't know, simply asked me if I needed help when she saw me struggling to get my shoe off the cleat/trike, during the lunchtime break, we got chatting about the week ahead and I said I was being an extra in a film, inside. From there I mentioned that I wanted to get more into acting and well you can guess the rest.

Like I said it’s been super duper fun, we’ve learned the Alexandra technique modified for me. We've learned, that context is everything. Last week we played a really cool game called ‘a ding’ and after the ‘a ding’ game we did a more intimate thing, where we lined up opposite our partner, whom we didn't know that well. We were meant to stare at each other, while he put us through scenarios and phrases, it was so hard but so liberating at the same time, one of the best things I've ever done! All I can say is that my partner had one of the best smiles I've ever seen which didn't waver even when the scenarios had been horrible! Afterward, everyone gave each other a hug, which lifted my spirits after an average week.

We've also had homework. Surprisingly I’ve been doing it, LOL!

I’m looking forward to the next few weeks and if you're searching for a place to look into acting I would highly recommend BRAVE STUDIOS!

Midlife Crisis? not sure.

So in the past few months since I wrote the blog about how reality can have its ups and downs.

The main theme was panic attacks and that has died down, settled and I’ve been great in that aspect. However, I’ve been sometimes feeling not like myself, flat, and triggered, put very simply.

Usually with things I’ve said to someone in turn from there it goes into a spiral out of control format, with me thinking oooo shit did I say that the right way… 

I think it's time to go back to the doctor to get a referral and see if there is something we can formulate together with the psychologist and me, whoever that might be, yet to be determined.

It might be a midlife crisis, it might be the lul in my life after the historic win, it might be the crash, it might be the want in life… but I think it's time to get help to employ strategies. on this 

That was only a quick one but I think it’s important to express your feelings in some shape or form, if that way doesn't, try another, if you can't think of ideas, have a conversation with someone.

Below is a good clip to explain vulnerability.

The Relationship with Winning

Taking Decision-Making to the Extreme

A while ago there was a four-year-old ‘Zayn’ who had been drafted to the Arsenal pre-school academy -  Zayn pre-academy training.

In this video (it's 2:30 min) someone says ‘he’s better than everyone else’.  The question here is, is it correct to say this, yes he’s more talented but there are so many factors to this.  The decisions about the future for the kid are being made by others (with a vested interest).

Is it right that they've got a preschool academy and that they're taking ‘the cream of the crop’? 

I don't know much of the context, his upbringing, and/or the socio-economic status of the family

Zayn did say at the end of the video he felt older, compared to the other kids..But he's only four years old, does he really understand that statement? 

The question is:   who makes the decisions at that age? 

Surely it is the parents ….

Okay so if it's driven by his parents, what's their background, what's the reasoning, what's their vision, what's their intent?

I can certainly give you examples of extremely bad parenting, Jelena Dokic.  Her worst nightmare was her father but this was only after she picked up a tennis racquet at the age of 6. His attitude and behavior was disappointing, to say the least. She talks about this and her feelings in her books Unbreakable and Fearless

Yet she had a love for the sport throughout her career.

On the other hand, Andre Agassi was completely the opposite.  Though he played tennis starting at a young age, he HATED the sport, he says in his Autobiography, Open.  Andre’s mother said his father envisioned him being a tennis player long before he was in the crib.

Those are two emphasized examples where the parents made all the distinct decisions.

I don't know who's making the decision with or about Zayn, and/or the BBC report..

Interestingly enough,  I found this study that concluded the sporting repertoires most likely to ‘track’ into adult life (2016) are those that are built on early and sustained involvement in a breadth of different sports.

It makes me feel that for parents,  they really should let their kids explore the wide world of sports and hobbies.

As for Zayn, it makes me really want to have a chat with his parents.

Does non-competitive sport create better opportunities?

A Meta-anaylsis showed that if kids persisted in a sport they would get more enjoyment out of it. however, there were fundamental foundations to keep them on track. These were parental, coach, and peer support just to name a few.

Due to pressure do kids drop out of sports?

The real science of sport a South African-based podcast found data on young rugby players aged 13 to 18.  They found that there was a dropout from the sport of 76%. Furthermore, there was a dropout rate of 90% if you narrowed the margin to 13-16 years of age. One of their reasons for the dropout was due to their physiology and some of the kids not being fully developed. It is reiterated in this 2014 study the reasons these dropout rates occurred.  ‘Five major areas emerged: lack of enjoyment, perceptions of competence, social pressures, competing priorities and physical factors (maturation and injuries).’

The Sport Science podcast also mentions that in Sweden and Norway, they've made it non-competitive and in Norway, they have a 93% participation rate of kids in sport.

The idea of sport Sweden - a sporting nation  says this near the top of the pdf  “We are involved in non-profit sports clubs to have fun, feel good, and develop throughout life”

Have Scandinavian countries got it right?

So

Here’s a hypothetical situation:

If the kids/team know they are going to win by a large margin over the other team in ANY team sport, what happens to the losing team, do they become more resilient and bounce back? Or do they drop away out of the given sport….?

So my question to you is what age do you think competitive scoring should begin? 

Leave a comment below

There is certainly a level of healthy competitiveness which was illustrated in the Australian story about the golfing siblings Minjee and Min Woo Lee, which right at the start says that it’s very competitive between the two. 

The main themes were pressure and the siblings being yin and yang (introverted/extraverted, motivation) on the way they are driven and the fact that golf is such a mental game, trust me it has tested my patience many a time!

Again they were in single digits when they started playing golf and their Mum was a golf coach, I don't know anything else.

A yes or no question, if or when you've played golf, do you keep score?

The flip side

Jack Watts, a former AFL player (a team sport) sat down and had a conversation on The Imperfects  podcast. He said he had supportive/loving parents, a perfect childhood. His parents had different perspectives and ways of going about giving advice. Even so, what he felt and openly said is the amount of pressure, expectation and not wanting to let his parents or anyone else down was overwhelming.

Resilience to Losing

There is no current consensus on operational definitions of resilience. Is said by Comprehensive meta-analysis of resilience interventions researchers who wrote the study. 

So going back to the aforementioned title.. 

This is just food for thought and I know that at some point it has to become competitive to reach professional and/or Olympic level.  It's just where this line becomes clear…

Is financial winning the same as enjoyment?

A few weeks ago I read about the London Marathon in regards to the equal pay for people living with disabilities as opposed to people of non…

Madison de Rozario, the Australian two-time London Marathon winner said the move was a game changer for disability athletes. "We often say that sport is a mirror to society, but it can also be the starting point for much larger change and that's what the London Marathon is doing here," she said. (Read the full article on the ABC site here)

Now this is a phenomenal thing - way to go!

This could be a great initiative and incentive to get the younger generation into sport, which Madison also said. Being an Olympian, para or commonwealth athlete makes us feel ‘proud’ or so 79% say on Clearinghouse for sport.  I just found that interesting.

But, that's at the top end of the spectrum, what about the other end?

Only 24% of participants in sports live with a disability (18+), for further insight see Clear house PDF. 

What I really want to point out is: that between June ‘22 and June ‘23 the kids [from 0-14] who were more likely to participate in sport outside of school hours, came from a high-income family.   One of the barriers to participation is if ‘they live in a remote or regional area’. Click here to see insight.

One of the limitations is that they have no data for under 18 people who live with a disability. In my mind if we don't have it, get onto it!

Also, I wonder If the NDIS has better outcomes for participation rates..?

Tiger Woods is an athlete in his given sport. In my mind the best golfer ever to walk the earth… or is he? I reckon his son Charlie ‘will’ give him a run for his money, literally! 

This is an interesting short interview with Tiger on Charlie’s competitiveness and his enjoyment of the sport. What I'm intrigued by is whether is Charlie following in the family's footsteps voluntarily or is he being pushed? Tiger was doing all the TV/game shows at the age of 5.   His father (Earl) says they participated (click here to see) in anything that Tiger wanted to participate in . 

NB there is a book by  Tom Callahan that I have not listened to which apparently goes into depth about the relationship between Tiger and Earl. If you've read it, let me know what you thought of the book.

The question for me is, “Who is the real winner here?”   These extreme parents whose morals and motives can be questioned or the young participant/s?  Which brings me back to the very beginning of this blog regarding Zayn. 

My winning mentality ……….

Recently I was in a competitive Myzone challenge in the gym, Paramount HFC. So I'll quickly explain a myzone.  It's a heart rate monitor that sits around your chest and is connected to an app on your phone. In the app, it tells you the intensity at which you are working and it has a scale called MEPs (metabolic equivalent points that range between grey (50%) to red. Okay so now you've got the gist.

I won the challenge and absolutely cooked myself in the process over the 5 weeks, still, I’m here to write this blog, that was one of the many reasons I wanted to win. I also wanted to emphasize that the biggest thing was time, putting in the time even as a person living with a disability and having impairments doesn't rule me and or anyone else out. Intrinsic self-motivation, that what I feel is all you need.

I also want to illustrate that competitiveness can be fun even when there are no incentives to win, it was just fun active participation, challenging the inner self, then there's the social aspect, the banter and the fact that some in the gym said ‘you won't win’ fueled me even more.  I like that, that’s how I did Kokoda, people said I couldn't do it, so I went and did it. There was no prize money, not what I cared about.  Just the pride of self-achievement and participation. 

What is the real winning

Enjoyment versus all those lots and lots of factors in Competitiveness. Whether it be wealth, parental guidance, pressure, or glory, is it really healthy or can we find a better more equal solution. 

Maybe we’ve got to all be like Brian Nankervis on RockWiz.  Run it down to the last question regardless whose WINNING and just have fun!